The Sway the Truth and the Life!

You ever notice how during a service Christians Sway....

I am sure that there must be a spiritual reason but here's what I think:


1- To much on the night before - you know the score an old friend invites you out for A drink but 1 becomes 2 , 2 becomes 3 and before you know it your running down the road at 1am singing "footballs coming home" so in order to deflect from this you just close your eyes and begin to sway in a valiant attempt to appear super spiritual, when really you just want to sleep.

2 - The person next to you has a particular odour which you want to avoid so you begin to sway from side to side just to take the odd gulp of clean fresh air, problem is that the person on the other side thinks your a bit nuts and begins to sway to keep away from you.

3- the person next to you is a bit nuts.

4- to irritate the person behind - you do the side to side sway on purpose because you are 6ft tall and the person behind you is only 4ft, your church has one of those screens that hang on the wall and you know that if you sway then the person behind has no chance of viewing the screens.

5 - to avoid the person in front who is annoyingly swaying, possibly deliberately to stop you seeing the screens!!

6 - you want to get a closer look at the thing the person in front / to the left or right has on the floor, this could be in the form of the forward to backward sway or the side to side sway, just be careful I have seen many people sway just that little bit to far........

7 - to relieve boredom - your worship leader has been up all night seeing to his 3month old and is playing all the easy songs mainly from the 80's which are really annoying.

8 - Exercise - Let be honest , this is the only chance this week you have had for any exercise so in an vain effort to try to get a little in you use the 20min worship session to get those leg muscles going to prevent them wasting away!

9 - You want everyone in the room to think that you are a very very spiritual person, so you close your eyes but every so often you take a peek to see if anyone is watching, if they are not, you up the swaying ratio until either someone notices or you fall over, thinking that maybe someone will think you have been slain in the spirit - come on I have seen you - you kn ow who you are!!

10 - because some wally close by is pretending to be super spiritual and is trying to get a Mexican wave effect going until they fall over and now your sway is to stop yourself from wetting yourself with laughter.


I'm sure there must be more but I cant think of any. let me know if you have any ideas!!